Life is Like a Battlefield

I thought for one second my life was turning around, turning around to face a brighter direction...Apparently Not, I'm still in the mudd trying to get cover from all the bullets and bombs flying around me in this battlefield called Life. I think I might have been hit...because my heart hurts and feels like it's been torn apart.
It is hard to Live, It is hard to take steps on a path where you have never walked before. There are no footprints to follow, you have to make new ones yourself. What if you walk the wrong direction and have to go back again only to start from the beginning??
I'm walking on a path without footprints now, and it is Hard to lead yourself into the unknown. It looks like I've slightly walked into the wrong direction and I have to go back to square one...I dont want to, but it seems I have to if I want to end up where it was originally planned :(

Sleeping Beauty

Yesterday was alright, we tried out a new club called LondonGroove or something similar, playing R&B, 90's, soul etc. As always there was a meat market, everyone humps everyone etc, I am getting tired of the club scene it's the same shit everytime.

Do you have any advice how to kill time on weekends besides clubbing?
What a day...Waking up, staring at the computer....talking to my love...Sleep some more....wake up....sleep some more, try to study and I mean try do you think I got anything done??

Watching my tiny tiny tv that is screwed to a corner in my room in the ceiling, I am getting neckpain staring up but atleast I have a tv wit a few channels yaaall! I'm watching Crossroads, you know that old movie with Britney Spears?



Mhhmmm, I'ma enjoy my sleepy saturday cus tomorrow this bitch has some catchin up to do with her study!
Peace Out

My first real interview in London

Heeey!
Went to my first interview, for my work placement,we talked for about 5-10 minutes and it was over, the girl before me stayed in there for like 30 minutes or more! is that a bad sign??
Anyways, he told me to get back to him on monday afternoon and he will tell me if he is interested in keeping me there...Crossing my fingers and toes....



What else...yes had to buy pants (or trousers as you say here in London...pants is underwear!) I never buy polyester, it is the worst material and it makes you sweat like a pig, but because I was so stressed I didnt check the label until AFTER the interview...100 % polyester...NEVER BUY items made outta polyester unless you are unhuman and never sweat.

Goin to get ready soon for a night out in London town, I have no money so this will be interesting!Plus I'm sick my nose is running and my make up is not really attached to my eyes anymore! PAAAAAAAAAARTY..BTW I havent been drinking alcohol for over a month so I guess I will be knocked out after my first glas of alcohol!

Have a great friday yaaall

My Life Is A Fucking Joke

Seriously, I am about to fucking EXPLODE, leave me alone! My bad luck is getting worse and worse by each day!

Went back to the storage room to get my last crap (once again I came home with junk)
I stored a painting in there for 4 months, it is pretty and I'd like to cheer this room up...a few meters before I entered the apartment I dropped the painting, no harm done....and the next second I dropped a small box with books on it....ALOT of harm done, the fucking painting cracked! It is now crooked and not possible to have up on a wall because it is a distorted freak!

Next drama, I got an email from my school saying they can not give me a confirmation letter because I'm not registered with the school, I wonder why.....BECAUSE you dont let me!!! I'm so sick of that school...and now I might have some trouble to get my loan.

Next email.....Oh yes....Now it looks like I cannot graduate, because the retards forgot to tell me that the transcript didnt show that I lacked 15 credits......

No seriously, I can take everything else, but when you fuck with my graduation I will KILL YOU

Worthless piece of Junk!

I seriously think that my university is led by some Super Retarded people, I have NEVER experienced a more disorganised staff like the one at my Uni, we are talkin lost payments (over 2000 £ in my case...which I have to pay back) we are talking messed up grades on the transcripts! I'm surprised this uni is still running! My god, I was about to burst into screams when the lady confirmed today that the grades were wrong on the transcript, they were better than they should be...talk about shooting me down....

Been up and running since 7 this morning, lectures all day, picked my stuff up at the storage room (half of it) just took what I could carry...As usual I though I was superman so when I set my foot outta the bus I looked like a donkey with a monkey!(Mami got an ass like a donkey with a monkey, look like King Kong...Dont you just love Pitbull) I crawled home with 3 HUGE bags...When I unpacked I realized I've stored CRAP! Ive stored it for over 4 months for about 140-150 pounds??And where do I store the things in this tiny room?? I've put everything under the bed but the bed is going to be near the ceiling more than the floor if I store more under there!

Whyy Whyyy Whyyy Meeee??

Alot of weight on these shoulders

My world starts crumbling down, I might face a HUGE, GIGANTIC problem if I dont get this thing sorted in a couple of days.

I just want a day without any fucking problem that pops up, is that so hard to get??????????



Passing out on the beach, take me back to Ukraine!

Here we go again...................

Lord, in a couple of hours I need to get up, dress to impress (leave my CV at this company that replied) run to Uni, while finishing my super important assignment (which I havent even started, nothing unusual there...) go to my class, which I just might skip since I dont even have time to breathe!

I'm more interested in www.overheardeverywhere.com my god there's some crazy people out there!

BTW, I just love my new Flat! When I went down to fix myself a cup of tea all I saw was my neighbour on the floor with a rag...what happnd I asked...The toilet was MENTAL, it was just overflooding!! The water filled the hallway, went into the kitchen floor...yum! Cant wait to eat there tomorrow. Apparently this happends often! Why am I not surprised that I eventually will end up living in a fucking shit hole?

The worst bit was that my old Landlord called me earlier today and offered me my old room back! The one with the mice...its fucking cold there but atleast the room was 2.5 times bigger than this corner! Unfortinatly I've already paid the deposit and the rent...fucking typical, she couldnt call me 2 days ago??

What else...not much, heres some pic of my beautiful hometown (where I was born) Odessa



Inside the Opera Theatre....have to put up some pics how it looked inside later on, it was Gorgeous!


Outside the Opera Theatre






Note the passed out homeless dog on the right side...it was alive and well..the scary part in Odessa was the homeless dogs, some are on their own, some gather in packs. Thats where the scary bit begins, me and my mom met a pack consisting of MINIMUM 10 dogs, we are nog talking about chihuahuas, we are talking HUGE, MASSIVE, GIGANTIC!



Loads of pics missing, my camera is special as I said...right I'm off finishing my CV and Uni paper...my god its 3!!

Waking up Alone for the first time...

Yes, I woke up alone today,what does that mean? It means I'm no Longer HOMELESS! wooohoo!
I never thought this day would come, after a lil over 3 weeks in a hostel!

I moved yesterday, but ofcourse with alot of drama...would be unusual for me if there was none!
The drama was so bad I thought the guy who was letting me the room would slap the shit outta me at one point.
There was some hidden costs, there was some other stuff I had no clue of and I got a real fucking shocker, and yes, I might get thrown outta this place anytime. But thats London for you baby, London is like a box of chocolate you never know which one you get!
And I got the one that looked good on the outside but tastes like shit on the inside!

Anyways, even though this was a bit of a surprise and there was some arguments, angry faces, but he knew I was right, I knew I was right, and that made him mad. I dont blame him, he got someone who had the balls to question him, and he admitted that no one had ever questioned him before...stupid? I dont know, all I know is that if you wonder something, ask it because no one will ever ask the question for you! I told him he had no rights to be mad at me...I think I was suicidal yesterday!! One thing is sure, Sweden is heaven compared to London, tha ghetto!

Im in my new bed, in my tiny tiny room, I tried to move the furniture around, but all I managed to do was making it even smaller! So I moved everything back like it was, and bought a mirror to admire my beautiful self in the mornings!

Silicone Lips and Fresh Figs

I think I might be allergic to figs...after the 3rd one I couldnt move my lips! they are in pain!!
It looks like Ive been slapped with a coco nut right on my lips, my lips are fat and juicy...If I was shallow enough I'd be eatin those figs everyday just to get a fatter mouth and risk dying of the allergic reaction! Some people are too funny, I dont mind plastic surgery, if not overdone, but when people make their lips look like it belonged to a duck or could be mistaken for an elephants trunk! something just doesnt seem right!...But I guess you never have to carry an umbrella around, You already have one in the middle of Your FACE!

BTW, I've stopped smoking, I havent had a cigarette for almost a month!!Lately I've been dying for a cig, but I keep myself together! I REALLY WANT TO CHANGE MY LIFE, be healthier, feel and look good in the future! I'ts time for a change, and leaving shit like this behind is a good start!

I HATE MY CAMERA, Ive taken some pic's of this room to show how glam my life is...but this fucker just wont upload them on my computer...It is ashamed of me...

Which Font is better Arial or Times New Roman?

A Hobo's wardrobe

I'ts not easy to pick out a professional outfit out of a almost non existing wardrobe, since I dont wanna drag my 30 kilo bag around with me to different hostels and 5 stairs up without an elivator I live outta my hand luggage...Theres not much in there at all, a towel, grey denim-skirt, 3 sweaters I bought from primark to have some variation wen one of the clothes get smelly! black pants and some underwear....yup thats it...Somehow I managed to look very smart today!

I was kind of funeral coloured today but hey atleast I managed to look classy when I dropped my CV off at the place I want to get a workplacement! Now I just have to wait for the call...2morrow maybe...?

• Black fitted jacket - Check!

• Black pants- Check!

• Black long shirt with a braided belt- Check!

• Black shoes- Check!
  

Hum, maybe I should make a dress guide for my homies (The Hobo's in London) you can do much with little!
Less Is definitly More....Let's just hope they looked more at my CV than my nice outfit!
By the way, London is getting ICE COLD!!! Unfortinatly my warmer jackets are refugees in the hostel basement at the moment, I smell a bad bad cold for someone soon...

Craziness goes on...

Ok, so I realized I'm even more broke than I thought, I'm moving to my OWN ROOM wow!! on saturday!I'ts so tiny, so smaaall (I'ma be living like those non-free range chickens folded in two just to fit into one of those boxes!)but after 3 weeks of this crap, my room will be heaven! And I'm just about able to pay 2 months rent (which he wants directly on saturday) and then I have pocket money barely to last me for about 3 weeks since my loan is taking ages!! so today I offically started my "broke student " diet....2 bread rolls and 2 apples for the lunch and dinner, and a coffee to sit in this place and not outside and freeze to death...I have to change hostel today for 2 days since "my" hostel was all booked up...so where the fuck is the new one??

The girl who stole my bed was a wacko for REALZ, I heard her talkin to herself, arguing, saying bad words such as ***** or ***** yeah you name it...and she was just scaring the shit outta me..

I hope he cannot read this or else this will be my last post, but the man beside me just ripped Starbucks off..
He came in with a Macdonalds coffee cup and food, found a Starbucks cup, drank his coffee and poured some into the Starbucks cup to show to the worker at Starbucks that it was something wrong with it, unfortinatly my ears arent that long or big that they could hear across the room, but he got a refill! He saw I watched him and that I was onto him so he went back to me and said "your coffee must be cold by now..." wtf??
He didnt only get a refill once, but twice....maybe I should pull that dirty trick now that I live on crumbles????But what should I say? "You dropped a fly in there"? or maybe "Did you spit in my coffee, theres foam so you have to make me a new one"?

Yes I have to develop my techniques...I'll be able to write a survival guide after my years here.

Two can play that game BITCH!!

No she didnt! That bitch stole my bed!
Ok so I've been moved to a 6 bed room wohow upgrade yaaaall!
Anyways, so when I got in I saw that in my bed (supposed to be empty) is full of crap!Girl stuff...
well, maybe there was a mistake at the reception I thought...went down and asked but no....she actually stole my fucking bed! I had to sleep on the upper bed....fuck no, I've had enough of those and I was ment to get the lower one for once....so I had only one choice...I had to steal a lower bed too...I went back, switched the numbers on the beds and TADAAAA I'm in the lower bed as well...some poor fucker will be climbin up and down for a couple of days now...
The funny bit was that I saw the girl before I knew she stole my bed in the hallway and I just knew she was in my room (theres loadsa rooms in this hostel so she could be anywhere) but I also got the feeling (after I returned "complaining") that that was the bitch who stole my bed!

Stole a pillow the other day since my pillow mysteriously went missing....where the fuck do I live??

I guess my instincts are developing, being homeless makes you psychic! Man, some people's problems are about what to watch on tv...mine is stolen beds, missing pillows and sleeping with one eye open!

Hard desicions

Sometimes life gives you no choice but to accept a happening...sometimes it gives you several options to choose from:
The painful ones you have to do in order to go on
The easy ones where you jave to deal with consequences at some points but not right now
Or you just dont do jack shit and just hope for the best

I chose the first, because I couldnt and wouldnt deal with the consequences, in order to move on I chose the first one. Sometimes you have to suffer in order to smile again. Unfortinatly!

But I wont let that get to me, what done is done.
Is there any recipe for happiness??

Farting and crazy people are my roomates!

Zup yaaall
Aight, fast update on how it is to gain new roomates every single day! Who needs to be social in a bar or go to the gym to meet new people? Just stay at a hostel for a few nights and you'll meet people you would NEVER meet before...

The other day the most disgusting man slept in this room...he looked funky, he smelled even funkier and he sounded funky (read snoring, coughing, heavy breather uughh) and he was not considerate of the rest of us in the room walking in late slamming the door etc...but the most disgusting part of it all was when in the middle of the night I suddenly hear a MAASSSIIIVVE FUCKING DHIARREA FART.....it was so loud I think it was heard all the way to Stockholm. It was so loud people in this room probably thought it was an earth quake! It was so loud my heart stop beating for a minute, because at that moment I realised the window was closed...and He was only 2 metres away from my nose...So, I had to smell this man and all I wanted to do was kick his disgusting ass in or delete my memory from what I just had experienced...
Yes, but that man is gone now...And the man below my bed is still there...This one talks to himself, sometimes in a scary voice...should I sleep with one eye open tonight??



Yes, its been 13 days since I arrived 2 this hostel...and I might have a tiny tiny room (but hey its still a room!) the 10th of october...the girl is not movin out til' then which means im in here for another 1.5 weeks...Well you never know with people in London. The "agent" can easily take my deposit (100£) and never return my phonecalls whenever 10th of october arrives....therefor NEVER trust people with your deposit in London. This man and I sat and had a discussion about me not trusting him, and he got mad because I said to his face I didnt....And he said why...I explained and he said do you really think I would run away with 100 pounds and get dirt on my reputation?? "Be careful with what you are saying..." OMG was that a threat?? Anyways...lets prey that I have a tiny tiny space in 1.5 weeks...If not I guess I'll be a witness to a lot more craziness around here....

Homeless day number 8

Still looking for a room, I'm starting to get desperate. I've started to eat like a PIG to kill my anxiety (I eat when I'm down).
Yesterday I went to 3 viewings
Room 1: Total fucking crackhose, I mean how can you show someone a room with dirty underwears, cig buds and empty beercans and plus other unidentified objects lying around???
Room 2: It was alright, but then came the shocker, she wanted 15 £ from each visitor..eeeh??
Room 3: Crazy previous tenant went kookoo in the room with paint....Also, the area was ...how to say this gently... CRACK NEIGHBOURHOOD! No thanks...

100 phonecalls later and I only have 1 viewing today....4 hours left and I'm not managing to squeeze any one else in between... what to do???

Seriously, London has given me more drama in 1 week than other people experience in 1 year.
I'm surprised I'm still sane! I just want to have a normal life! I'm done with the drama.

Yes, so here I am, in a coffeeshop, soon broke (my loan is not getting through until 3 weeks time, I'm not registered in University and they wont let me register because I havent paid over 2000 £...I Dont have time to study and I have no where to live....Plus more but that I will keep to myself!
Have a nice day!

Still Homeless

Being Homeless Sucks BIG Time.
My roomates are unknown people from god knows where.
I put a sheet up on my bed, from one pole to the other to create a feeling of privacy, the only problem is it looks like a fucking puppet-show when I turn on the lights in my little "room". So if I poke my nose or scratch my butt it will be viewed by 5 others.

Yesterday we got ourselves a new neighbour, a DRUNK, read PISSED outta his head Australian dude who turned off the main light while everyone was still busy doin theirs.
I didnt even bother to peek out, so what did he do? He peeked in, he entered my Private Condo, stretched his arm out to me to say hello and ask me questions... Like, Hello, dont you see I have my door (Towel) locked?? Thank god he left early morning and yes he woke me up at 7...

Today I'm trying to study, but I cant focus at all, this paper needs to be in 2morro but I'm physically sick and I have so much on my mind that I do everything else but read.
Just bought myself a cup of tea and a cheese cake, which went down in seconds....I love this coffeeshop but they turn the aircondition on so bad it's like sitting in a refrigirator ffs!!

Because I live in a bag, my clothes stinks BUTT! they stink so bad I refuse to wear them because the smell makes me gag and I dont have time to wash it at the moment. So I bought myself a long sweater to wear for school 2morro, I only say one thing. Primark is tha shit.

Back in London

Ukraine was....interesting. Much has changed since I've been there...8 years ago.
Going there at 23 is a completely different experience than going as 15.
It was good to see where I was born with "grown-up eyes" and see much more than just boys and the ocean like 8 years ago. Have to put some pics up once I get everything sorted.
Ukraine also brought drama as expected.

I got food poisoned last week. We are talking real bad one, I ate a so called Kebab...the only problem was that afterwards we were told NEVER to eat a Kebab in Ukraine and that it could be all sort of meat they put in...like cats,dogs, rats you name it...wohow. So the day I was flying back I puked 4 times, ran to the toilet a few times and I begged It wouldnt be like this on the plane and that I would get seats near the toilet...but no I got the window-seats. But luckily for once, nothing came up...Although I'm still sick, and I've given up meat for a while.

3 weeks went by fast, we went to the ocean, slept on the beach while getting our pale bodies tanned. I burnt my face so bad I looked like a tomato in the face while my body was white...I soaked my face in milk cream and other foods to stop the burning.

But making the story short, the trip brought joy and drama.
Now to the next problem. I'm homeless, at the moment I'm staying in a hostel with 5 others in the same room. I have an assignment to finish in 2 days and I'm no way near even started.
I'm looking for a place to stay and everything is just a mess. London means drama, just as much as Ukraine does if not more at the moment. At my usual coffeeshop drinking a chailatte and tryin to do everything at once. Life is complicated sometimes.

Did I get my 6 hours of study? No...
What did I do? I took a nice long shower...washed some of my clothes by hand...cleaned, went to the store, put my makeup on...yes everything but study, I think I might have done 2-3 hours of study...

I'm drowning my sorrows in alcohol right now, whisky and coke. Wasnt a big fan of it before but I must say it grows on you.

I hope I'll wake up in time to catch the plane, if not, goodbye exam---> goodbye education.
Anyhow, Ive had a relaxin time here in Sweden, although I had to study for a couple of weeks this summer...

I especially enjoyed my newfound job! I'ts this telemarketing company that calls people and offers them free panties, razorblades, mens underwear, pills you name it! I'ts not a wellpaid job but hey, I've had fun....crazy people answering the phone made my day...

Good Bye

Im leaving the country tomorrow! I have to wake up at 4 oclock, get my stuff and run to the bus that will take 1.5 hours to the actual airport... Ive got 6 hour study time 2day, and about the same 2morro if I'll manage to keep my eyes up...

Ill arrive to my hostel at about 1 ocklock, and I will be sharing my room with 5 others...Well, time to sleep with one eye open then.

Me and my friend Kin were homeless for 3 weeks last year in London when looking for a place to stay, people in our rooms came and went. There wee people who snored like fuckin animals, there were people covered in blood (I think it was an accident) those who enjoyed drinking to much, people from all over the world. And there was a 60-70 year old man who tried to take me out for dinner...It was a bit sad to leave but nice to end up at a steady place...which turned out to be a Tragic Comedy! But more about that later.

Stuffin my face with mashmellows...

Very happy face at the zoo....

MMM, dinner...

I need to get back to my books, Leadership in Organisation here I come.

The End

My time in sweden is almost coming to an end, ive got 3 days to enjoy this beautiful long country...and instead of actually enjoying it im studying for an exam on tuesday morning in London. Am I near knowing everything I should know? No, do I have time to learn everything I should know? No... well, same old same old.

Been without internet for a while, dissapears and comes back again. As I said I'm flying back to London on Monday for two days to get my exam over with, and after that I'm flying to Ukraine for lil over 3 weeks...I'm getting worried, Ukraine is the place of all happenings, last time I was there (8 years ago) boats were blowing up with me in it, dogs were chasing me, hair burning, first taste of a cigarette, alcohol, drama in all aspects, you name it. I wonder what is waiting for me now....But all I know for sure is that I'm going to be beautifully tanned!

But the only problem is coming back to london again, I am homeless, I dont have a place to stay at! So i guess its gonna be hostel for a week or two, Ive booked two nights at a place near where I used to live, if its nice ima book there again after Ukraine until I find a place I can call my own!

I hope I can get hold of internet in Ukraine...I hope so, cus this girl needs to do some more studying, summer break my ass.

To my beloved friend! Hope u get who you are, I wanted to call you for a while now, but either I'm outta money or its too late or too early in the morning!! I'ma try I'ma try!